Break

I haven’t written properly in well over a month now. I haven’t even considered writing at all for the last 2 weeks.

On one hand it frustrates me as I would love to sit down and write, be it my novel, flash fictions or some good poetry. However, I’m just not in the right frame of mind for it and I think this complete break will do me good. We all need some time away to freshen up, when things become stale you’re never going to get any where.

It seems this entire year has been rather up and down really. I started off reasonably well with O.T ‘adopting’ me as the poor prose writer with no idea about poetry. I came on leaps and bounds with my poetry (with HUGE thanks to O.T and his boundless patience), I also got M.T published and did the erotica stint. However I’ve had many times of threatening to quit writing completely, periods of not writing etc.

Just part of the process though. I recently finished reading Neil Gaiman’s Stardust and there was a little excerpt from him saying how there’s a point in every book he’s written where he hates it and talks about throwing it all away. He continued on to say his editor laughs and just says “Ah, you’re at that point then”. I think in my case – I just haven’t found ‘my voice’ yet. I certainly haven’t with my poetry anyway.

If I’m having so many problems with all this, why do I keep coming back to it then? Why don’t I give up and find another hobby? Because writing is an addiction, it’s a part of me. As a good friend said “You can quit writing, but will writing quit you?”. The simple answer is – No. So what do I do? As with everything practise makes perfect but when you’ve lost the desire to even consider trying, what then? Well, then, I take my break. It was my birthday recently and I was given a small mountain of books so I intend on losing myself in those and ignoring the niggling desire to attempt to write.

As for the future, who knows. Of course I really want to write Red Spiral, it will be my masterpiece. However, with my partner applying to the army I have no doubt that will throw me off once again when he leaves for basic training. We’ve been together over 5 years, lived together for over 5 years. When he goes off to basic training, we’ll be apart with him at the other end of the country, for 4 – 6 weeks. It’s going to be a huge change. However! I have my baby Ziggy, so there’s always a positive.

I’m not going to make empty promises about having RS finished and into editing by christmas or how I’ll take the next step with my poetry by hallowe’en. We’ll just see how everything goes. I’m stepping back into my spiritual stuff far heavier than I have done for a few years now and that will affect everything else.

I do have a good list of projects which will be worked on slowly over the coming time -
Teaghan – needs a proper name
Red Spiral – I’ve done the first couple of chapters and have ch.1 polished up completely.
Tiaden Dawn – Needs re-writing – My first written book.
Twisted Fates – Needs re-writing
Tiaden Aurora – Prequel to TD. Written first 15,000 words or there abouts.
Rebellion of the Muses – Needs proper name. Only a vague idea right now.
Poetry – need to find my voice and progress.

There are probably more but if I list them out like that, it places that little niggle and reminder in the back of my mind. I haven’t forgotten or given up, I’m just re-assessing things and seeing where I end up.

Oh! And! I went on my 3rd murder mystery weekend with mum last weekend and thoroughly enjoyed it – we did suceed and figure it out!! From that, I might even have a bash at a murder mystery story/book. I’ve not read that genre but I don’t read much fantasy so what the hell! It could be a giggle. All when I’m ready of course, not before.

What is it to be a writer.

I’m on a couple of writer based forums and online communities and these types of threads seem to come up quite often. So, I’m going to give my views on it.

There seems to be some thinking that if you don’t do things a particular way or feel a certain way you can’t possibly be a writer. What an absurd thought! The one which stuck in my mind recently was a rather sharp arguement about those of us who act as though our characters and poems are alive and real people. I’d like to point out that I am perfectly aware my characters aren’t real people. However, as I have no doubt many writers and poets will tell you, the characters and poems we create quite often dictate how they are put down onto paper. Which brings be round to the arguement -

The person who started this stated from the start that they are not like myself. They merely plan out their story and write it. They have no muse, no rogue characters, it just happens in a rather logical and orderly manner. Now, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that myself. They however were asking if that makes them less of a writer!? This was where the arguement kicked off. Another person who also doesn’t have a muse, rogue characters etc etc stated that those of us who do are merely displacing the fact that we’re poor writers onto imaginary vices! “Saying your muse has left you is merely a poor device for saying that you’re not a good enough writer to work through your writers block”. So it continued.

I honestly fail to see why people can’t accept that we are all individuals. There is this habit and idea that we must conform to a small list or box of thoughts and actions so that you may truly carry the label. So we come back round to the point here. Rather than looking to everyone else for little rules and boxes to dictate if you’re a writer just ask yourself!

Do you enjoy spending time writing? Do you write semi-regularly? Then what else is there to being a writer!? It’s just a label summing up the above. It’s merely stating that you are someone who enjoys writing and does so when you have the time and inclination. All the rest of it is down to you as an individual and has no bearing on whether you are or are not a writer.

So next time you wonder if you are truly a writer because you muse skipped off and married your lead character, or perhaps because you thoroughly enjoy editing and outlining – shrug it off and know that you are a writer. Add that to the fact writers are creative sorts and we enjoy pushing the boundaries and leaving the box behind, so stop trying to wrap that box back around yourself! Do what you enjoy doing and don’t let anyone stop you.

 

Print copy

As you’ve all been hearing I decided to self publish Twisted Fates through lulu. I held the physical copy in my hands yesterday! It was very surreal. I have to add at this point how pleased I was with the print quality from lulu. That copy only stayed with me about an hour though before I sent it off to O.T (after signing it).

What now? I’ve written a couple of poems which I’m pleased with and I think form a nice little pause before I continue on and write the next novel. This is where I’m a little unsure. I’ve started on Red Spiral and that’s a project I’m really excited about. I’m also taking my time with it as it’s got a very different feel to my two written novels. I do however have a sequel for Twisted Fates to be writing as well. I suppose we can’t forget that I still have my first written novel to edit and get out as well. So there’s plenty to be doing!

On a more personal note – things are going brilliantly with Ziggy. My baby’s turning 2 next month. I’ve started building up the groundwork some more now with hopes to be lying across his back in August. I’m taking things very slowly and carefully, given his start in life I want to be sure that the bond is built up properly.

Realistically the next move is to look more seriously into traditional publishing again and decide whether to hold back Red Spiral and go that route, or, push it out on lulu.

I know I should have confidence within my writing and I personally like Twisted Fates. I’m just nervous about getting feedback from my sales. I think this is quite a normal thing for creative folk, if we don’t have the little niggles of doubt surely we should be more worried?

For those of you who want a copy of Twisted Fates – (click pic)

If you’d rather have a look at my new poems -

http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Fyreheart/751250/

Change of path

So as many of you were aware I had been put forward for an erotica contract with my story Alpha Dance (Click link). You’re probably also aware that my partner of 5 years is applying for the army. That threw me into a huge tail spin (sorry all who got caught in that) which lead to huge amount of frustration and a ‘half writers block’ as O.T put it! Anyway – After thinking on this for a good two weeks I made the decision last night to decline the contract and focus else where.

My passion really is contemporary fantasy writing. Erotica is a bit of fun here and there but not something I can throw myself into at the moment. I don’t want huge amounts of pressure from a publisher, promotion/marketing on top of my partner going into the army. This means I’m trying to write Red Spiral and will probably try and hone my poetry a bit more. Yes, this means I’ll be bugging you wonderful people for feedback and collab’s!

I may as well use this to tell you a little about my plans for Red Spiral hadn’t I? So R.S is a contemporary fantasy/dark fantasy/supernatural/low fantasy/*insert a few other sub-genres* There are so many bloody sub-genres within the fantasy label I’ve given up! Ahem. Anyway. It’s set in modern day England, probably in an urban setting. Told from first person perspective you’ll follow my angel as he’s kicked from the higher plane and has his wings torn from him. He’ll adjust to his new life and go into a downward spiral of self destruction until.. well, read it and find out. I wouldn’t want to give away too much now would I?