I haven’t written properly in well over a month now. I haven’t even considered writing at all for the last 2 weeks.
On one hand it frustrates me as I would love to sit down and write, be it my novel, flash fictions or some good poetry. However, I’m just not in the right frame of mind for it and I think this complete break will do me good. We all need some time away to freshen up, when things become stale you’re never going to get any where.
It seems this entire year has been rather up and down really. I started off reasonably well with O.T ‘adopting’ me as the poor prose writer with no idea about poetry. I came on leaps and bounds with my poetry (with HUGE thanks to O.T and his boundless patience), I also got M.T published and did the erotica stint. However I’ve had many times of threatening to quit writing completely, periods of not writing etc.
Just part of the process though. I recently finished reading Neil Gaiman’s Stardust and there was a little excerpt from him saying how there’s a point in every book he’s written where he hates it and talks about throwing it all away. He continued on to say his editor laughs and just says “Ah, you’re at that point then”. I think in my case – I just haven’t found ‘my voice’ yet. I certainly haven’t with my poetry anyway.
If I’m having so many problems with all this, why do I keep coming back to it then? Why don’t I give up and find another hobby? Because writing is an addiction, it’s a part of me. As a good friend said “You can quit writing, but will writing quit you?”. The simple answer is – No. So what do I do? As with everything practise makes perfect but when you’ve lost the desire to even consider trying, what then? Well, then, I take my break. It was my birthday recently and I was given a small mountain of books so I intend on losing myself in those and ignoring the niggling desire to attempt to write.
As for the future, who knows. Of course I really want to write Red Spiral, it will be my masterpiece. However, with my partner applying to the army I have no doubt that will throw me off once again when he leaves for basic training. We’ve been together over 5 years, lived together for over 5 years. When he goes off to basic training, we’ll be apart with him at the other end of the country, for 4 – 6 weeks. It’s going to be a huge change. However! I have my baby Ziggy, so there’s always a positive.
I’m not going to make empty promises about having RS finished and into editing by christmas or how I’ll take the next step with my poetry by hallowe’en. We’ll just see how everything goes. I’m stepping back into my spiritual stuff far heavier than I have done for a few years now and that will affect everything else.
I do have a good list of projects which will be worked on slowly over the coming time -
Teaghan – needs a proper name
Red Spiral – I’ve done the first couple of chapters and have ch.1 polished up completely.
Tiaden Dawn – Needs re-writing – My first written book.
Twisted Fates – Needs re-writing
Tiaden Aurora – Prequel to TD. Written first 15,000 words or there abouts.
Rebellion of the Muses – Needs proper name. Only a vague idea right now.
Poetry – need to find my voice and progress.
There are probably more but if I list them out like that, it places that little niggle and reminder in the back of my mind. I haven’t forgotten or given up, I’m just re-assessing things and seeing where I end up.
Oh! And! I went on my 3rd murder mystery weekend with mum last weekend and thoroughly enjoyed it – we did suceed and figure it out!! From that, I might even have a bash at a murder mystery story/book. I’ve not read that genre but I don’t read much fantasy so what the hell! It could be a giggle. All when I’m ready of course, not before.